Your debt is a teacher. If you are in debt – no matter the amount, you are at an incredible crossroads in your life – that can teach you a lot.
However, for your debt to act as your teacher, you must see it as your teacher and not your punisher.
What is debt? Ultimately, it’s a reflection of your scattered energy and priorities in a certain period (or periods) of your life. But, if you allow it to teach you, not only will you move past it – you will also take on a focussed outlook – which is useful in money matters, and all aspects of your life.
So, what can your debt teach you, really? Let me start with my debt story, the summarized version ;).
To be honest, when I was in debt – I had no idea that I was. I had spent nearly all of my 20’s living abroad and just kind of went about my life day by day – I traveled, worked, and generally just lived in the moment. Everything seemed pretty easy, but extremely directionless.
Expenses and how I spent money never even crossed my mind once. I would just swipe a card or hand over some cash if I had some (remember cash?), and that’s about it.
After 8 years of living abroad, the same week I moved back home (I was in my late 20’s at that point) – I got a letter in the mail from the student loan / aid office. Apparently, I owed them $30,000 (and accumulating interest). The letter was really long and folded out like a scroll 📜.
It was all very official – at telling me I was officially broke.
Later that week, I came to find out that my credit score (which I didn’t even know existed) was in fact, non-existent. How ironic!
Turned out, since I had lived abroad for so long, I was ‘non-existent’ in several financial systems – and so no bank would give me a credit card since they had ‘nothing on file’ – no transaction history, no bill payment history, nothing. It’s like I simply didn’t exist.
At this point, I was feeling pretty low 😔. I had moved back from ‘living abroad’ (which was a ‘cool’ thing for a long time) and now I wasn’t cool anymore. I had no job, no ‘place of my own’ and no real direction. Again, this directionless feeling was really intensifying around me, and it felt suffocating.
And so, there I was, after nearly 8 years away and completely on my own in foreign lands, in my parents home again – ‘figuring out my next steps’. At one point I questioned why I had moved back – to suffer? To say that my ‘cool life’ abroad was crashing into a horrible and difficult reality ‘back home’ would be an understatement.
I was absolutely floored by my complete incompetence. You can understand how jarring this was, since the concept I had of myself was ‘very competent’ indeed. This was all a major blow to my ego, which turned out to be a good thing later, but in the moment, it sucked 👎.
One of my biggest internal fears was turning out to be a loser (oh no, not a loser!), and because I was so focussed on NOT being one, it seemed as though I had created the conditions to shape into one. Irony again!
Confronting this fear and the hold it had over me was critical to moving past it.
And as I thought and realized all of this, the interest on my loan continued accumulating. Oh, by the way – did you know interest accumulates and compounds if you don’t pay? I didn’t then, but found out pretty fast.
I thought, why do they call it interest, when it doesn’t serve my best interest at all! Sometimes the way things are named can be very misleading 😕.
Any way, I kept asking myself, how did I travel and live abroad for so long – end up with negative money? I didn’t even not have money, it was less than that. How did I let this happen? How did this even happen?
Full disclosure, at this particular point, I didn’t even know what debt, interest or credit really were fully – they were just appearing in my life like some punishers!
I let this sit in for a few days, and then I had a major inflection point. Patience isn’t my greatest strength – and in this scenario, it was helpful, because it didn’t take me long to realize and reflect on the fact that up until that point in my life, none of my priorities were aligned to my best interest.
The obscurity of the debt and everything surrounding it – me not existing in any system, me not understanding basic financial matters – was reflective of how scattered and confused I felt at the time about my own life, I had a general feeling of “I don’t know what I just did for the last few years of my life, and I don’t know what to do now.”
The directionless state I was occupying in my mind made itself extremely apparent on the outside, no longer could it be hidden with weekend trips, going out, coffees and living abroad – I didn’t live from direction, and life was showing me how that felt indeed!
Finally, I decided since I didn’t know what ‘to do’ exactly – that I would simply focus on one thing, and one thing only: to erase my debt and make it be $0, and make it my absolute obsession. And with that single goal, my debt became my teacher, and allowed other aspects of my life to unfold (and continue to unfold!) – we’re never quite done with the unfoldment, are we ;).
So, what can debt teach you? Well, here is what mine taught me.
Focus is a term that’s thrown around a lot. There are countless videos and people telling us constantly to: “Focus on this, focus on that” – so much so, that you start to feel scattered! Isn’t that ironic? In reality, focusing on your debt within of itself isn’t what gets it to $0. It’s focusing on having your debt be $0, or non-existent within your frame of focus is what zeros it out of your life.
Many people advise to “focus on your debt” and look at the amount constantly – of course, there is a ‘snap back’ to reality moment, the inflection point we must all have – when we realize that we’re in debt. That is an important first step – but don’t stop and simply stay there, frozen in that moment.
Instead, you must now focus your attention on what it is you will do to zero the debt out. To live a life where debt doesn’t even factor into your thoughts or reality any longer.
When you have debt, no matter what type of debt or the amount, your goal must always be to make it $0 and your thoughts laser focused on that number. If you think of it, ‘0’ is not really a number, it signifies completion – or a ‘full circle’ moment. Trust you will perform a ‘full circle’ ⭕, and you will.
Once you’re focused on your goal of $0 debt, it will happen. It’s only inevitable that it will. Try to avoid dwelling too much on the how at first, just know that it will be. Why? Because the power of your directed focus far exceeds any temporary circumstance.
But, remember what you are focusing on; NOT the amount of your debt, but making it $0. Once you have this level of focus in your mind, you will accomplish your goal ✔️. Not only will you assume an attitude of accountability, however, opportunities and help will present themselves to push you forward – sometimes at a very rapid pace.
The viligance and persistence of your focus are directly correlated to the pace at which your goal is achieved. I paid off my debt within 8 months – $30,000 (plus some interest) in 8 months, which equals $3,750 per month. Up until that point, I hadn’t even imagined generating that much money on a monthly basis – until suddenly, I had no choice but to. That, and even more.
Interestingly enough, my narrow focus expanded my ability to generate money. And this appears to be a constant in life – when we focus, we expand.
Use your debt to focus your mind and accomplish your goal. You will feel very confident and assured in yourself – because the first step in erasing your debt, is to erase the doubts, fears and scattered priorities that got you there in the first place.
You replace those by taking on a new mindset – an empowered one, where your mind can focus and accomplish absolutely anything. The power of your mind and directed actions are unstoppable forces.
Another thing to remember when it comes to your focus: you must and I repeat, must be persistent. That means having your focus and seeing it through until its absolute completion. What is absolute completion?
The accomplishment of your focused goal: $0 debt – none, zilch. Making it ‘full circle’. Persistence is what distinguishes those who only live for the today vs those who live for the today, tomorrow AND beyond.
Put your mind beyond the person who is ‘paying off their debt’ – this does NOT define you, it is only a temporary circumstance. Focus, persistently, on what new circumstance you are making happen – which is being at that zero point.
Persistence means you focus on your goal when you’re mad, sad, hungry, crying, happy, disappointed, content, tired – it doesn’t matter the emotional circumstances 😣 of any given moment. You are focused on your goal – and you are obsessively persistent with it, day in and out.
You can even day and night dream about it. That may sound ridiculous to people if you say it out loud – so don’t. Keep it to yourself if you’d like – however, let the focus and vision of what your mind is focused on be LOUD 🔊 within you, extremely loud, agile – and always active.
Remember, your goal must be absolute – as in, your number one priority is getting your debt to $0. NOTHING ELSE comes first – except that. The amount of people who are ‘investing’ and taking leisurely trips while their debt accumulates is astronomical-I would know, as I was one of them. Remember, this shows mixed and scattered priorities – lacking direction.
You are here because you want to embody a focussed attitude with concrete goals – a state of directed action, so go ahead and get absolute and fantatical about it. You will accomplish what you set out to do, I guarantee it.
Often we’re instructed to show a posture towards the world that’s very childish. We look at the world and our own lives and think “Why is this happening to me?”, “Why is everything so tough?”, or “I don’t know how I got into so much debt, it’s not fair. I’m a good person!” “The system is just unfair to me and the group I belong to”…etc. This one was my speciality: “But I’m so nice, I don’t deserve this!”
It may feel gratifying to complain in the moment, but you will be trapped at a very low level of operating your life. And it will feel like an absolute prison. Because it is. And you’re the only one in it.
Imagine this: If you were on an island and came across some unknown person sitting in a cage that was screaming at you to get out, what would you ask them? You’d probably ask, “Where are the keys 🗝️ to open it up?” Logical.
And what if they responded with “I don’t know where I put them and I won’t put the effort to find them either, but GET ME OUT OF HERE!” – You’d think that person is crazy 🤨. If you’re in debt and putting a childish posture towards it, that person in the cage is you. I have deep compassion for the prisoner in the cage, we all have one within us – however, you and you only can release yourself.
When you get into debt and see it as something that happened to you, you put yourself into a cage, hide the keys, and then sit and pout about how you forgot where you put them, all while making no effort to find them.
Think about it – if you are thinking in these ways, either through constant thoughts inside your own head or out loud when conversing with people, or a combination of both – you are operating from a place of low self-worth and self-esteem. I don’t mean to be harsh however, one of the most gratifying things about taking accountability with your finances (and your life) is facing things you’ve convinced yourself that you are and CHANGING THAT DIALOGUE for the better. You are valued, however, you must know this deep within yourself, and live from there.
Money 💸, on a metaphysical level, is tied to self-worth and assuredness. That doesn’t mean that people who have more of it are ‘better’ people – everyones’ requirements for security and preference are different, and that’s normal. That’s the variety of life and experiences. However, if you find yourself lacking and in a constant cycle of desperate need – you must start by taking accountability for where you’re at and how you got yourself there.
NOTHING in your life is happening to you. Rather, you are creating every single circumstance you encounter – and yes, that includes debts, and any financial insecurity you’ve crafted for yourself. This is not to blame or shame you – this is to make you realize that accountability is the key to unlocking the highest and most satisfying of human states, which is freedom.
Freedom is ultimately, what we all seek – financial freedom, is assuming a state of security and assurdeness with your money. And take this from someone who has (and still at times) grapples with deep insecurities around money and losing it all – it is extremely liberating to realize that nothing happens in my life without my consent and wanting it to happen.
So, don’t feel like your debt ‘happened to you’ – this is disempowering and will keep you in a cycle of fear, uncertainty and doubt. The very same cycle that got you in the debt (and by the way – will keep you there). Rather, ask yourself the more mature and apt questions of: “How did I allow this to happen?” and “What am I trying to teach myself?”
Now, these might be a tough and sensitive questions at first – but ASK. Once you genuinly ask, you will receive answers. They may be instantaneous, or take a span of time to reveal an answer to you – however, when you ask a genuine question, you will receive an answer, always. And at the perfect time too, when you can truly understand it.
Now, once you take the stance of accountability and ask how you allowed your debt to happen (vs it happening to you) – and really assume and take this attitude as your new and refreshed way of analyzing your life – you will feel an amazing sense of freedom. At first, it may feel very challenging to confront certain aspects of yourself, but accountability is key when it comes to assuming a feeling of freedom in your finances, and life.
One of the most practical lessons and applications of debt, its management and getting it to $0 through your persisntent focus and stance of accountability is that it forces you to take money management seriously. AND, it has the added benefit of forcing you to learn about it.
This is an absolute gift 🎁. There are many people in this world born into money – and that is just fine. Love those people. However, anyone who has surmounted odds when it comes to their money KNOWS money. And I mean, they really know it up front, close and personal.
In fact, financial assuredness and security give you the key to unlock every other door in your life – on all layers. This is why it’s tied to self-worth and assuredness on a metaphysical sense – it lays the foundation for the nature and quality of every other endeavour and relationship in your life. Now that REALLY matters!
This is your journey, for your entire life. Because it doesn’t stop when you erase your debt, you continue, and your skills continue to be refined as you go along. This is not a one stop and get off the train journey: money management is forever.
And that is the key difference and true lesson here – you have the opportunity to know money up close and personal – it’ll be with you during your entire life, so managing it in a way that is efficient and effective is key to accelerating all aspects of yourself and your magnificent life.
For example, before contemplating debt – I never once wrote down or tracked a transaction. Now I compile multiple monthly expense reports, across multiple currencies, for personal and business endeavours.
Also, I never looked at bank or credit card statements – I thought they were difficult to read and confusing (they’re done like this on purpose), now I look at them down to the last minute detail, and can understand every aspect of one.
Where these activities caused me distress before, they are now enjoyable and empowering💪.
This is the same for you – think of all of the money management skills your debt is currently teaching you, for example, you’ll learn:
And the list of practical applications can go on. Think about how your debt is teaching you to be absolutely excellent in your financial management and apptitudes, what a blessing indeed.
Remember how I said in the beginning that debt is simply a result of scattered priorities and decisions? Well, when you focus, take accountability and get your debt down to $0 (the ‘full circle’ ⭕ moment) – you also get the chance to take a real hard look at your life and perform some serious inventory on your priorities. That’s right, your priorities! Not someone else’s expectations of you – but what you truly desire.
Some excellent questions to ask yourself during your ‘priority inventory management’ is:
These questions are of vital importance. And your debt forces you to answer them – good! So, take advantage and answer them to the best of your ability, and then live according to your highest desires and those that serve your highest good, i.e., the best version of yourself. And commit to that. This process of answering may be instantaneous or reveal itself over a long period of time – trust all timing.
Commit to the version of yourself that is financially secure, happy and thriving. Be assured in your inflection point, approach it with a sense of curiosity. Don’t beat yourself up or get down – why punish yourself? You choose your experiences to refine yourself, the debt is only a teacher – and temporary at that.
Remember, debt is not just a waste of ‘money’ – it can also represent periods of wasted time, energies and efforts. Now, there are some who say: “Nothing is a waste.” That could be true, however, the moment you become conscious of the fact that you are indeed wasting money, time, energies, and efforts (which normally go hand in hand) – then you’re on the hook! You must stop immediately and have a serious inflection point with yourself.
Use your debt to show you how to better direct your money, energy, and efforts – and TIME. Go back and take a look at where and who you spent the bulk of your money on and with. Then, ask yourself: “Did this serve me correctly?” If the answer is no (which it usually is if you have a resulting balance in the red) – ask yourself this follow up question: “Where would spending my money serve me correctly?” And live that answer.
During my inflection point, among many other decisions, I decided that I wanted to be a business owner- and that in fact, this is who I was all along. Another decision was that travel, as much as it was fun, would take a back seat to that priority.
I actually ended up traveling while starting my business (bad idea ❌) – which didn’t end up being as fun as I thought, however, I was refining my priorities, and it wasn’t until I got serious about my business that I decided to quite literally sit my a** down and get to work.
I continue to have inflection points in my life; debt-free and beyond. These are critical crossroads, that if approached with a genuine wanting to understand and move in the right direction, will lead you to the correct answers. You are constantly refining yourself and zero’ing your debt is another refinement of skills in the grand scheme of who you are.
Trust in your ability to set positive and serving priorities in your own life, and you will.
Your debt is a teacher – so listen, with attention and curiosity. In reality, it can teach you many things, namely I found it taught me these lessons:
There are many more lessons, but you get the idea! If I can leave you with two final thoughts, they are to:
1️⃣ Ask yourself how you let debt happen (it didn’t happen to you) – empower yourself to problem solve
2️⃣ Get laser focused, not on the amount of the debt, but on the number zero, $0 – going full circle
What has your debt taught you? Whether you’re currently getting your debt to $0 or already have, what did you learn? What do you continue to learn? How did your priorities and life change before and after?
Share your story and what you learned in the comments below!
Originally posted 2025-01-09 20:06:01.
Hello, I’m Melody! I believe that a clear life starts with clear money goals. Let’s get you on track—and rolling in dough!
😭 Oh no, not home again! If you’re deciding—or even just considering—whether to move back home to save or build money, you’re in the right place. Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, let’s clear up a few terms, since everyone's background is…
🫣 Why do we fear money? If you have fears and anxieties about money, you’re not alone—most people do. Fear of money is very common. But if you’re willing to confront those fears, analyze them, and transform them into empowering…
👋 Hello, expenses! Expense tracking is the first step toward taking ownership of your finances. It’s simple: record what you spend and track it. Easy, right? Yet, very few people do it. If you’re reading this, you’re already making a…